I’ve recently been told that I have severe anxiety. The thing is, I knew I had anxiety, when I look back on my life, I probably have had it since I was about 9 years old, maybe even before then. I realised in my late 20’s when I came across the signs of anxiety, but I didn’t think I was that bad, I was able to move along with my life. So, it came as a shock when I’m told it’s severe.
My previous post, way back in June, details my mindset. It hasn’t changed much, I still feel like I’m failing Hannah, and I’m taking steps to rectify this. I had my first counselling session on Sunday, this is where I was informed my anxiety is severe. That I should discuss this with my GP, and have a back up in place, just in case counselling doesn’t work for me.
I lost all of my motivation, it became mentally draining to post on this blog. I didn’t do as much for Childhood Cancer Awareness Month this year, every post I came across reinforced my fears, and I couldn’t face the harsh reality that is childhood cancer. I hope I can be stronger next year, as I really want to make a difference, in order to that, I must speak up.
I’m trying to get back into my hobbies, I’m looking into teaching myself something new, and as well as focusing on my mind I want to get in better shape, or where I can run without it feeling like my lungs are about to catch fire.
My counsellor, mentioned that I have four areas of my life that need attention, and only one can be the focus of our sessions.
My relationship with myself.
My relationship with Hannah.
My relationship with Joseph.
Our family unit.
She asked me to choose one.
My response, “In order to make our relationships stronger, and for us to work on our family, I need to focus on myself first.”